Everybody who has a dog calls him "Rover" or "Boy". I call my dog "Sex". Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to city hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk I would like to have a license for Sex, he said, "I'd like to have one too." Then I said, "But this is a dog." He said he didn't care what she looked like. Then I said, "You don't understand, I've had Sex since I was nine years old." He said I must have been quite a kid!
When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the motel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the place was for Sex. I said, "You don't understand, Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Me too".
One day I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there, looking around. I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me that I should have sold tickets. "But you don't understand", I said, "I had hoped to have Sex on T.V." He called me a show off. When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married". The judge said, "Me too". Then I told him that after I was married, Sex left me, he said "Me too".
Last night, Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him. A cop came over to me and asked, "What are you doing in this alley at 4 O'clock in the morning?" I said,"I'm looking for Sex". My case comes up Friday.
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